Monday, February 8, 2010

How to Meet Women on Craigslist

If you're not adept to flirting with women in real life, believe it or not, there are plenty of real women on Craigslist. Its not all spambots, dirty old men fishing for photos of your dick, and other marketers pretending to be attractive young women. The beauty of Craigslist is its sheer size and anonymity. This creates a unique situation where your timing + effort could result in you meeting a woman you would have never met in real life. That's what online dating is - creating an alternative to meeting someone without really meeting yet.

At its heart, Craigslist is a classified ads site. Instead of selling your old rolex, that 1993 Honda Civic, or your ability to write resumes, you're selling yourself using the written word. In essence, Craigslist wipes the slate clean - even if you have bad teeth, a balding hairline, or a 6-pack that disappeared 6 years ago, Craigslist is a clean white slate for you to describe who you think you are, not who you really are. Besides, who really wants to get to know the real you, at least right now?

And that's the point of Craigslist and being online - you can be who you are, the person inside, and give that person a chance to shine before you're suddenly thrown into the spotlight. Cheesy, yes? But that's what Craigslist is - the great online dating equalizer. Its more than possible to meet women on Craigslist.

I've met dozens of women from Craigslist - all regular women you'd meet outside at the mall, coffee shop...actually, when was the last time you RANDOMLY met a NEW woman? Unless you're the man about town, most men will meet 1 new random woman every 3 months. The rest of the time, they're meeting everyone but women. And it gets worse as you get older. But Craigslist allows you to meet women and they are all literally at the tip of your fingers.

The key to success on Craigslist is your ad. The more work you put into writing a quality ad, the better your responses and the more you'll get. Take a second to analyze the competition out there - 90% of the guys in the M4W section are posting the same type of ad. Here's a sample from February 2010 of the M4W listings:

How To Meet Women on CraigslistThe common denominator is most of these ads have horrible titles. The title is your 3 seconds in time to attract the eyes and the click of the women brave enough to browse the M4w jungle.
Stop and read the titles again above. Go to Craigslist and any city and read the titles in the M4W section. That is your competition. And the competition sucks.

On any given day, I can post on any Craigslist site in any city, post an ad in the M4w section, and get replies in my inbox. Sometimes within minutes. Its happened over and over. All I'm doing is looking at the competition and completely dominating them. Its like they've all been invited to the television show The Bachelor and rather than try to dress like a gentlemen (suit, tie), they dressed as their personality and looked like an idiot compared to you.

So the first key to writing a great Craigslist ad to meet women is a great, well-thought out title.

The second thing you're going to need is a well written Craigslist ad. But a well written ad is broken up into a few components.

Right now, you've got the woman's attention, she's liked your title enough to click on your ad. Now, you've bought yourself sometime, maybe 5 seconds. In the next 5 seconds, she's going to read the first line or two of your ad and decide if she's going to read anymore. This is a crucial point in your Craigslist ad - if stops reading here, you've let her get away when you had already had her hooked. If she continues reading from here, she'll most likely finish reading your entire ad. That is what you want her to do - to read your entire Craigslist ad.

So, you have your great title and an even better introduction for your Craigslist ad. What do you write in the rest of your post. This is where you talk about what you want and what you want to hear from the person reading this post. Ask questions. Demand what you expect from your replier. In a way this sort of post almost challenges a woman to reply - she doesn't know whether to be offended or to be smitten, and that's what you want. You want to catch them off guard because all they've done is been on guard with the thousands of other creeps on Craigslist.

Intellectual Stimulation - 28

Date: 2010-02-05, 10:11PM PHT

The Philippines has plenty of ways to stimulate you. If I want physical stimulation, I can walk down the street to Burgos and get all day for 1500 pesos. If I want something that will tickle the tongue, I can choose from all the great food the restaurants of Makati have to offer. However, if I want something different, some intellectual stimulation, where do I go for that? Someone whose words and opinions turn me on so much they make me want to buy you dinner. Today. Tomorrow. Perhaps the day after that?

Don't send me your pics and stats cause I'm not interested, well at least not yet. I want to meet you, the person that can stimulate with the written word, leaving my mouth agape and writing back for more. I want to know why you're on Craigslist, why someone of your obvious beauty and intellect is online looking for their equal? Are we alike in that we tire of the same old social circles and want an escape - into something new, different, mysterious? Can you also recite at least 5 cities that Anthony Bourdain has been to? Or maybe the most disgusting thing he's ever eaten?

Where is your next trip abroad and can you possibly give me any tips on exploring the ruins of Angkor Wat? And if you could choose, Palawan or Bohol?

If you've just read my questions and can provide even a glimpse of an answer, I'd love to know more about you.

  • Location: Makati
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

It took me at most 10 minutes to write that ad and it works every time. Not the same ad, but different variations of it. And I didn't know it would actually work until I tried it. But the general rules I follow are: be humorous/fun, talk about myself (not the physical aspects), and talk about who you want to meet. Be specific. De tailed.

Here are some of the actual replies I've received from that ad:

Reply 1: Alright. I'm not sure if what you're doing is a social experiment to see how many women are desperate enough to get themselves a good guy. And if that is the case, let me be part of your subject.

I am not sure why you're on CL. I mean, you sound like a decent guy, you totally make sense and you're so much better than most guys at articulating your thoughts. It's not like everyday that I stumble upon something as creative and interesting as what you've written. Call me S, I also posted something yesterday and the turn-out is kind of overwhelming. Apparently, a lot of guys are interested in presenting themselves as sensible. But upon reading their messages, breaks my heart to find out they're not.

So, there, I e-mailed you but I am not sure about how this whole thing works. I hope I'm doing this right. :)


Reply 2: Palawan, its beauty and isolation is soul soothing.

I don't travel much, except when i read my action adventure novels...What is the allure of Cambodia for you? You a fan of Lara Croft? :D

Balut!!! hahaha....that's actually mine :D and you can include dinuguan, kare-kare and bagoong among those i do not and will not eat, ever!! :D ....Lebanon (Beirut), Malaysia, France, Japan, Namibia and its a McNuggets :D hahaha...i like them with both steak andsweet sauces...though I knew he was a chef, I had to go check wikipedia for the rest :D fascinating reading...there's a lot of good shows on cable, i think i need to get one installed soon..

The posts in CL gives a fascinating / entertaining / sometimes sad / shocking / hilarious glimpse of the views / preferences / character of those people who post there. I discovered the site just mid December last year, it still is all the above for me, and it gives me the opportunity to meet men who are not from my circle or country. My personal and professional circle is too limited and restricting, CL expands it a bit and gives me a certain freedom with anonymity in my interactions.

Your title reminded me of the first "corporate" job i tried, it was in sales; I was there for a month when I went to my supervisor and told him that I am resigning because I did not find the job mentally stimulating :D hahaha..he let me go...advertising, marketing and events are more challenging for me...want to go for a run this Sunday? Am helping a client with his marathon at Fort.

If what you read is not up to your standards, let me just wish you well in your search :D ...I hope you find what you seek.. have a great weekend!!

Reply 3: Hi Anthony Bourdain Fan!
I saw your posts from CL and it's not hard to tell which ones are yours.
I don't know Anthony Bourdain but after I read your first post, I googled him. I was curious how a young and smart guy like him so much. I think "like"is an understatement.
After I read his wiki page and a few more of your post, I knew why you are a fan. You are so much like him. Witty, brutally frank, confident and opinionated.
I hope you'll get your date tonight.

I got those 3 Craigslist replies on one day and frankly, its enough to keep me busy. I actually got a total of about 7 replies from my ad within 48 hours and all of them merited a response, but admist working, running a business, and trying to meet women, I've narrowed it down to those 3 replies above.

When posting your Craigslist ad to meet women online, post it just once or twice in the appropriate sections - if you're looking to find a potential new person to meet (without the sex), go to the M4W section. If you're looking to get some action, go to Casual Encounters. I've generally found the Platonic areas to be a complete waste of time - most people who want to meet want to meet for the purpose of having a relationship, not just being platonic friends.

I generally post my Craigslist ads late at night and typically I've gotten responses on those Craigslist ads for women over night, from women browsing late at night. If you post it during the day, others are probably posting alongside with you which can mean your brand new post at 1pm can be topped by several other posts by 2pm. You want your ad to be seen so post it when everyone else isn't posting.

Now, what if all this doesn't work? The first thing is don't give up on meeting women online.

Then, simply, you rewrite your Craigslist ad and repost it. Sometimes when you go fishing and throw the fishing rod into the water, you might not get a bite the first time around. But as you continue to practice how you throw the rod into the water (your ad), you're going to be more adept at writing an ad that will attract the attention of women.

Continue to post, edit, repost until you get results with meeting women on Craigslist. In this instance, persistance really does payoff. You will meet women on Craigslist, its just a matter of when and how much work you want to put into it. The more work, the better the woman you'll meet online.

PS: Don't ask for a picture just yet. She might ask you for one right away and what you want to do is sell her on personality and not your looks. Unless you are of course Brad Pitt.

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