Saturday, February 20, 2010

The Perfect Email - Replying to Women on Craigslist

I've been experimenting for a long time with different strategies on the perfect email reply to a woman's ad on Craigslist and after many rewriting sessions, I think I've come upon the perfect email reply to a woman's ad on Craigslist. Without further ado, here it is:

Hello,

I doubt this will even reach you because I'm sure the second you posted that ad on Craigslist, your email inbox was swarmed by dozens of guys who are a dime a dozen. I'm not one of those guys.


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I'm (INSERT AGE), (INSERT HEIGHT, (INSERT RACE), and don't have any issues meeting women. I (WHAT DO YOU DO) - basically I have my life together and am looking for someone to just randomly have fun with, just like you are. I'm devoted to what I do and spend most of my waking time working. I'd like to break the monotony with someone I can have a great conversation with while basically, fucking each other's brains out. Then, we get back to our business and our lives. I don't have the time for a relationship, nor do I want one, but I will always make time for some fun.

If you read this and are interested AND you're not a spambot, pls reply and I'd be more than happy to send a picture.


============

So far, I've had 2 out of my 3 emails replied to for a fantastic 66% reply rate. For most guys, the reply rate is 0% on Craigslist and that’s just the sad reality of online dating on Craigslist. There is really isn't that much competition if you know how to approach Craigslist the right way. If you're going to write a stupid reply without first thinking of what she wants to hear, of course you're not going to get a reply back.

With the email I have written above, I'm trying to strike a chord in the women reading these emails - they are going to see a ton of garbage from guys - guys who send penises, stupid emails that say let's fuck, or other inane things - and what you want to do is provide a breath of fresh air to her inbox and give her something she has to think about. If she sees a big penis flashing on screen, she doesn't have to think twice about closing that as fast as possible. Contrary to most beliefs, women really don't like pensises being flashed in their face as much as a guy loves the flash of a vagina across his screen.

So the goal here is to use my template to meet women on Craigslist and adapt it to your own email replies. If you get a reply, please leave a comment!

How To Meet Women On Craigslist - Organizing the Meet Up

At this point, you've written your Craigslist ad, received a couple replies, emailed the women back, and by miracle of God, she replied to you, again! If you have gotten this far with a woman from Craigslist, you're already ahead of 90% of the pack - The pack being the pack of rabid guys posting Craigslist ads that get them nothing more than laughs and disgust from readers.

You've gone and forth a couple times on email and now you're trying to figure out when is the right time to ask her to meet up. Because, eventually, that is your goal. To meet a woman on Craigslist and meet her offline - in the real world. If this isn't your objective, then you shouldn't be reading this blog. What we're trying to accomplish here is turn a woman online into a real woman.

What you have to do is judge the moment you have with the email conversation - if she's replying quickly to you and is responsive to your emails, start dropping hints that you want to see her. Mention that you're nearby, ask where she is at the moment and try to find out what her plans her in the timeframe you want to see her. Some women will meet you immediately - within hours after first emailing you. Others will wait weeks before they muster up the courage to even send you a photo, let alone meet you in person.

When deciding whether or not to ask someone to meet up, you first have to make sure that you've verified that this person is a real female. Unfortunately, Craigslist is polluted with the gutterminds of men looking to collect photos of men after they pretend to be the hot horny girl around the corner. Get photo verification, get facebook verification, and get some form of verification that she is a real girl before initiating any sort of meetup.

Once you've received that confirmation, then you're ready to ask. Rather than ask in your email, "When do you want to meet up," name a date, time and place where you want to see her. Women want to be directed; if you leave them to decide where to meet you up, you're asking for failure. Tell the woman on Craigslist where you want to meet, what time you want to meet, and why you want to meet. Of course, to see her beauty in person and continue the conversation offline. More on how to meet women on Craigslist on the next post.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

How to Meet Women on Craigslist - The Mysterious Provocative Ad

If you've been reading my how to meet women on Craigslist series, you probably remember one of the first lessons of writing a good ad was writing something mysterious and provocative. Something that provokes a response from a woman, because she's either very fascinated or almost taken aback by what you've written. Regardless, you now have her attention, and you're about to meet a woman on Craigslist.



But, how do you write that mysterious and provocative ad that elicits the attention of women online? This is how.



1) Spend the first 2-3 sentences talking out loud, almost introducing the woman online to who you are and why you might be posting. Something’s I've said are, "What's wrong here? Life, again, and what I thought would happen when I moved to _______ has not happened." Use this time for her to get a sense of your personality without you providing any specifics. Mystery is what you want. You're not ready to provoke her yet.



2) Ask yourself a questions and provide an answer. A simple one would be, "What did I expect to happen when I moved to ________?" And provide your answer. So maybe you can say, "I thought when I moved to Austin, I'd meet all of these great interesting people, but I didn't."



3) Get provocative - After you ask yourself the question and answer it, this is where you become provocative to elicit the attention of women online. Describe yourself and why you deserve to be given attention. If you are the manager of a team that does $10 million a year in business say it. Talk about your success in business. Be direct. But be honest. And then let them know that even with all the success you've had, you're missing success in your personal life.


And that is exactly why you are posting on Craigslist to meet women. Your career is going great (or maybe not so) but your personal life isn’t' achieving the same amount or same type of success as your career. Women will understand your bragging (even though it provokes them) as a way of saying, hey, I'm not that bad of a guy, why am I not getting any love? That's the ultimate message you want to get across when trying to meet women on Craigslist.


More meeting women on Craigslist until next time. Until then, make sure you treat your acne with these acne products.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

How to Spot Attractive Women on Craigslist By Reading Their Ads

From all my years of meeting women on Craigslist, I've been able to deduce from what and how much someone has written, the general attractiveness of that individual. Simply, the longer your ad, the less attractive you are. That goes for men and women. The longer your Craigslist ad, the more you are trying to compensate for something, and that something is generally unattractiveness which is why you're on Craigslist in the first place.

Now, this isn't by any means a hard and fast rule - there are attractive women that love to write flowing pieces of prose, but those women are rare. Most attractive women, if they have the courage to post on Craigslist, will seem confused and embarassed, leaving them little to say in their post. They feel they are above posting on Craigslist, but are doing it anyway because of the hope and feeling of "you never know" that it provides. These women's post are then short, a few sentences at most, and will talk directly about what they are looking for without overcompensating for it unneeded words.

The only reason I'm able to make this statement is because I've simply read and replied to many ads over a long period of time to draw a basic correlation to Craigslist ad length (and email reply) and general attractiveness. Now, many of you really aren't to care if they are that attractive as long as she's down, but some of us do have minimal standards that must be met. So follow this rule and focus your time and energy writing Craigslist ads on the best prospects.

How to Meet Women on Craigslist - The Fucked Up Ratio

If you've been following the How to Meet Women on Craigslist series, then you've been able to post an ad, get a reply, and properly replied to her initial email replying to your Craigslist ad. Now you sit back and wait for her reply - you can't do anything about it now. Don't email her again until she's emailed you back - if she doesn't reply, she doesn't reply. You move on. If she does reply, then your chances of this turning into something real have now exponentially increased.

But, while you're waiting for those replies to your Craigslist ad emails to come in, you can also be on the hunt. While there aren't as many guys, there are more than enough women on Craigslist also being proactive and posting an ad. However, unlike you, the guy with the dick, she's getting bombarded with hundreds of emails, sometimes in 1 day. The ratio is that skewed. It is The Fucked Up Ratio.

For every 100 guys that post an ad on Craigslist, maybe 10 will get replies. For every 100 women, that post on Craigslist, every single one of them will get a reply. Guaranteed. That is a fucked up ratio.

So, why wade into emailing women who have posted when there are 100 other guys like her replying to her ad too?

Because you know the secrets of How to Meet Women on Craigslist - good titles and a direct, witty, but mysterious ad that keeps her wanting more. If you adapt and employ these same tactics to the women posting on Craigslist, you'll instantly double your Craigslist dating. And it doesn't hurt to practice your replies - you'll be able to quickly learn which replies work and which ones don't and you can apply these learnings to the replies to the women replying to your ad.

If you want to meet more women on Craigslist, seek them out in their personals section. But remember, be prepared by reading my Craigslist dating tips from the beginning.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Crash and Burn - What Not To Do When Meeting on Craigslist Part 2

Meeting women on Craigslist is not always successful. I just recently crashed and burned with a woman I'd been working on for the past 4 days. Everything was going great the 2 first two days - we were going back and forth on email and at the moment, she seemed like one of the best women on Craigslist. Her replies were direct and inquisitive and most of all she wanted to know more. I received her picture and she was an attractive 27 yr old girl, glasses and everything. The ad pushed her buttons and she wanted to know exactly who was this guy capable of writing an ad that would attract her attention of all people.

But I made a fatal mistake.

I read her wrong and fucked everything up.

I broke one of the golden rules about replying to a Craigslist ad - I didn't read her email properly and sent a completely idiotic reply and she got me. I'm not going to go into the details of what I wrote in the email reply back to Craigslist woman, but I was toast. Something about showing my true colors (what?) and that she's used me for all I was worth (huh?).

Maybe it was best this one got away. Sometimes that cute one isn't necessarily matched up with the most stable of personalities. And there are a few more that I'm working on at the moment and its been a few days since I posted my last ad.

So, in order to not crash and burn meeting women on Craigslist like I did, re-read her email replies. Over and over until you understand exactly what she is saying to you and what she wants you to say back to her. Her reply to me was only one line - my mistake was inexcusable but the only thing I can do moving forward is to not repeat this same online dating mistake again.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Crash and Burn - Meeting Women on Craigslist

I put up an ad a few days ago and its gotten a lot of terrific responses - I've posted the ad below to show you what an ad looks like that gets the attention of women on Craigslist. I've edited it so you can't find it and find me (I hope).

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My grandma is my Valentine's date..... and there's actually nothing wrong with that. I love my grandma and cherish every_______ her. I was in a relationship for ______ with someone who I thought was the 1. But _______, life happens. What you imagine____ reality in your head doesn't necessarily translate to what happens ______. Fast forward and I am back here, home. Well as close to a home as _______ been gone for the last ____ years. So what's wrong with this picture? Life, again, and what was going to happen when I moved to the ____________ has not happened.

So what did I expect to occur? Maybe to meet someone more than _______ I've already met. I had high expectations but they haven't been met.

But am I to expect that from women in this place?

I'm a ________________ and abroad for the last ________. I ____________ in my office. I wear a t-shirt to the office while you're in a suit. I can comfortably say that ____________. Cockier than average. Yes, but, I'm only describing the facts.

I'm not looking for you to be i____________I've had, but I do want you to be in awe by the fact that I can go from talking to you about _____________ without skipping a beat. That I can actually _______________ talk about. I'm not asking for a lot - just someone whose physical beauty is _____________ personality, wit and _________.

So I'm busy for Valentine's Day, how about dinner _______ instead?

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Like I said, it's been a great ad and has been a boost to my online dating. Why has it been so successful?

1) Because I targeted it towards the women on Valentine's Day. Some of the women on here are going to be extremely desperate around the days before Valentine's Day and this ad is like throwing a lure into a river full of salmon - they are going to be bites.

2) Direct, confident (but not arrogant), witty - Take note of all 3 characteristics. You may not necessarily possess all these abilities in real life, but this is online, and you can be anyone you can write about. With this ad, I'm brutally honest about myself and my experiences and that's a nice change from the "I'm looking for my hoe tonight" and "Let me make you daddy's little girl" ads that are all over Craigslist.

3) The length is just right. Its not too long and its not too short. It gets my point across quickly but also leaves you wanting more. I've pushed enough buttons on the ad to merit replies from women who see the difference in the ad quality.

So, what kind of replies did that get?

Here's one:

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Hello! I'll be straight to the point, I responded to your ad because it's interesting ... Not because you sound to belong in ________ society, but you talk with essence and of intelligence that most posters lack. What baffles me though is a refined man like you, with average looks, successful with career, well-traveled and smart is posting an ad for a date on craigslist. Why's that? What's wrong with ____________? Your friends and acquaintances? or '_________? '___________ just asking.

Don't take this email in a negative way. I have been in craigslist for awhile and I came to know the type of people lurking and posting there, so 'you' are a surprise to me, unless in the end, you'll turn out to be a scammer and liar just like everybody else.

=========

Bingo, hook line and sinker. Exactly the kind of reply I was looking for. The ad left her needing to reply because it was so fucking good. If I had seen this girl at a bar and I said essentially what I said in the ad in person, she'd melt the same way again.

I'll post the other replies in the next email but I've gotten about 8 replies after 2 days with most of them worth replying to. There were a couple that after doing a bit of Googling, I didn't want to pursue further. I've got 8 already and thats more than enough to keep my online dating busy.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

How to Meet Women on Craigslist Part 2

This is part 2 of the series, How to Meet Women on Craigslist. Online dating is easier than in real life. All you have to do is write and present yourself as a decent guy, and women will fawn all over on you Craigslist. Why?

Because 99% of the guys on Craigslist are creeps, crazy, or just flat our scary. Women know this, yet they keep coming back to Craigslist, as if asking for another beating?

Why?

Because they believe in a simple thing called hope. The hope that one day, out of the blue, they are going to meet someone like.....well, you!

So because of this hope, you should also have hope that you can meet women on Craigslist and the women you meet there are going to be better than the women on Match.com, Chemistry.com and the hundreds of other paid dating sites. Craigslist is free AND it has the most interesting women.

So, the next lesson for meeting women on Craigslist, and dating on Craigslist once they have actually replied to you, is to not reply too soon BUT, don't reply too late. I've done both and while replying to soon is not as bad as replying too late, both can quickly crush the blooming flower that was that women who emailed you.

Once you get a reply for your Craigslist ad, and hopefully you followed my online dating tips here, the next thing you want to do is carefully read her reply. Over. And over. You have the luxury of time now to analyze her every single word to deduce what type of woman you have here. Its like going to the Amazon jungle and hunting - unless you know a lot about tropical animals, you're going to need help identifying what you've just shot out of the tree. The same principle applies to meeting women on Craigslist - you don't know what you have until you've actually taken the time to analyze.

So in your analysis, what are you looking for? From my experience, the types of replies you get are a very good indicator of the physical beauty of the woman behind the reply. Trust me, I've done this hundreds of times and there is a correlation/pattern I've seen in the hundreds of replies I've received from women on Craigslist.

So what exactly are you looking for? If your post was normal size in length, say 100-200 words, her reply to you should be no longer than the length of your post, and typically, the shorter the better.

I've found through my analysis of reading the emails of women on Craigslist that the less unattractive you are, the more you overcompensate for it with exquisite, long drawn out replies. So, the longer the reply, the less physically attractive she is. At least in my opinion. But if you're looking to just get laid on Craigslist (and not dating on Craigslist), does it really matter what type of reply she has as long as she replied?

Part 3 of How to Meet Women on Craigslist coming shortly.

Monday, February 8, 2010

How to Meet Women on Craigslist

If you're not adept to flirting with women in real life, believe it or not, there are plenty of real women on Craigslist. Its not all spambots, dirty old men fishing for photos of your dick, and other marketers pretending to be attractive young women. The beauty of Craigslist is its sheer size and anonymity. This creates a unique situation where your timing + effort could result in you meeting a woman you would have never met in real life. That's what online dating is - creating an alternative to meeting someone without really meeting yet.

At its heart, Craigslist is a classified ads site. Instead of selling your old rolex, that 1993 Honda Civic, or your ability to write resumes, you're selling yourself using the written word. In essence, Craigslist wipes the slate clean - even if you have bad teeth, a balding hairline, or a 6-pack that disappeared 6 years ago, Craigslist is a clean white slate for you to describe who you think you are, not who you really are. Besides, who really wants to get to know the real you, at least right now?

And that's the point of Craigslist and being online - you can be who you are, the person inside, and give that person a chance to shine before you're suddenly thrown into the spotlight. Cheesy, yes? But that's what Craigslist is - the great online dating equalizer. Its more than possible to meet women on Craigslist.

I've met dozens of women from Craigslist - all regular women you'd meet outside at the mall, coffee shop...actually, when was the last time you RANDOMLY met a NEW woman? Unless you're the man about town, most men will meet 1 new random woman every 3 months. The rest of the time, they're meeting everyone but women. And it gets worse as you get older. But Craigslist allows you to meet women and they are all literally at the tip of your fingers.

The key to success on Craigslist is your ad. The more work you put into writing a quality ad, the better your responses and the more you'll get. Take a second to analyze the competition out there - 90% of the guys in the M4W section are posting the same type of ad. Here's a sample from February 2010 of the M4W listings:

How To Meet Women on CraigslistThe common denominator is most of these ads have horrible titles. The title is your 3 seconds in time to attract the eyes and the click of the women brave enough to browse the M4w jungle.
Stop and read the titles again above. Go to Craigslist and any city and read the titles in the M4W section. That is your competition. And the competition sucks.

On any given day, I can post on any Craigslist site in any city, post an ad in the M4w section, and get replies in my inbox. Sometimes within minutes. Its happened over and over. All I'm doing is looking at the competition and completely dominating them. Its like they've all been invited to the television show The Bachelor and rather than try to dress like a gentlemen (suit, tie), they dressed as their personality and looked like an idiot compared to you.

So the first key to writing a great Craigslist ad to meet women is a great, well-thought out title.

The second thing you're going to need is a well written Craigslist ad. But a well written ad is broken up into a few components.

Right now, you've got the woman's attention, she's liked your title enough to click on your ad. Now, you've bought yourself sometime, maybe 5 seconds. In the next 5 seconds, she's going to read the first line or two of your ad and decide if she's going to read anymore. This is a crucial point in your Craigslist ad - if stops reading here, you've let her get away when you had already had her hooked. If she continues reading from here, she'll most likely finish reading your entire ad. That is what you want her to do - to read your entire Craigslist ad.

So, you have your great title and an even better introduction for your Craigslist ad. What do you write in the rest of your post. This is where you talk about what you want and what you want to hear from the person reading this post. Ask questions. Demand what you expect from your replier. In a way this sort of post almost challenges a woman to reply - she doesn't know whether to be offended or to be smitten, and that's what you want. You want to catch them off guard because all they've done is been on guard with the thousands of other creeps on Craigslist.

Intellectual Stimulation - 28


Date: 2010-02-05, 10:11PM PHT


The Philippines has plenty of ways to stimulate you. If I want physical stimulation, I can walk down the street to Burgos and get all day for 1500 pesos. If I want something that will tickle the tongue, I can choose from all the great food the restaurants of Makati have to offer. However, if I want something different, some intellectual stimulation, where do I go for that? Someone whose words and opinions turn me on so much they make me want to buy you dinner. Today. Tomorrow. Perhaps the day after that?

Don't send me your pics and stats cause I'm not interested, well at least not yet. I want to meet you, the person that can stimulate with the written word, leaving my mouth agape and writing back for more. I want to know why you're on Craigslist, why someone of your obvious beauty and intellect is online looking for their equal? Are we alike in that we tire of the same old social circles and want an escape - into something new, different, mysterious? Can you also recite at least 5 cities that Anthony Bourdain has been to? Or maybe the most disgusting thing he's ever eaten?

Where is your next trip abroad and can you possibly give me any tips on exploring the ruins of Angkor Wat? And if you could choose, Palawan or Bohol?

If you've just read my questions and can provide even a glimpse of an answer, I'd love to know more about you.

  • Location: Makati
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

It took me at most 10 minutes to write that ad and it works every time. Not the same ad, but different variations of it. And I didn't know it would actually work until I tried it. But the general rules I follow are: be humorous/fun, talk about myself (not the physical aspects), and talk about who you want to meet. Be specific. De tailed.

Here are some of the actual replies I've received from that ad:


Reply 1: Alright. I'm not sure if what you're doing is a social experiment to see how many women are desperate enough to get themselves a good guy. And if that is the case, let me be part of your subject.

I am not sure why you're on CL. I mean, you sound like a decent guy, you totally make sense and you're so much better than most guys at articulating your thoughts. It's not like everyday that I stumble upon something as creative and interesting as what you've written. Call me S, I also posted something yesterday and the turn-out is kind of overwhelming. Apparently, a lot of guys are interested in presenting themselves as sensible. But upon reading their messages, breaks my heart to find out they're not.

So, there, I e-mailed you but I am not sure about how this whole thing works. I hope I'm doing this right. :)

Cheers,
S

Reply 2: Palawan, its beauty and isolation is soul soothing.

I don't travel much, except when i read my action adventure novels...What is the allure of Cambodia for you? You a fan of Lara Croft? :D

Balut!!! hahaha....that's actually mine :D and you can include dinuguan, kare-kare and bagoong among those i do not and will not eat, ever!! :D ....Lebanon (Beirut), Malaysia, France, Japan, Namibia and its a McNuggets :D hahaha...i like them with both steak andsweet sauces...though I knew he was a chef, I had to go check wikipedia for the rest :D fascinating reading...there's a lot of good shows on cable, i think i need to get one installed soon..

The posts in CL gives a fascinating / entertaining / sometimes sad / shocking / hilarious glimpse of the views / preferences / character of those people who post there. I discovered the site just mid December last year, it still is all the above for me, and it gives me the opportunity to meet men who are not from my circle or country. My personal and professional circle is too limited and restricting, CL expands it a bit and gives me a certain freedom with anonymity in my interactions.

Your title reminded me of the first "corporate" job i tried, it was in sales; I was there for a month when I went to my supervisor and told him that I am resigning because I did not find the job mentally stimulating :D hahaha..he let me go...advertising, marketing and events are more challenging for me...want to go for a run this Sunday? Am helping a client with his marathon at Fort.

If what you read is not up to your standards, let me just wish you well in your search :D ...I hope you find what you seek.. have a great weekend!!

Reply 3: Hi Anthony Bourdain Fan!
I saw your posts from CL and it's not hard to tell which ones are yours.
I don't know Anthony Bourdain but after I read your first post, I googled him. I was curious how a young and smart guy like him so much. I think "like"is an understatement.
After I read his wiki page and a few more of your post, I knew why you are a fan. You are so much like him. Witty, brutally frank, confident and opinionated.
I hope you'll get your date tonight.
xxx

I got those 3 Craigslist replies on one day and frankly, its enough to keep me busy. I actually got a total of about 7 replies from my ad within 48 hours and all of them merited a response, but admist working, running a business, and trying to meet women, I've narrowed it down to those 3 replies above.

When posting your Craigslist ad to meet women online, post it just once or twice in the appropriate sections - if you're looking to find a potential new person to meet (without the sex), go to the M4W section. If you're looking to get some action, go to Casual Encounters. I've generally found the Platonic areas to be a complete waste of time - most people who want to meet want to meet for the purpose of having a relationship, not just being platonic friends.

I generally post my Craigslist ads late at night and typically I've gotten responses on those Craigslist ads for women over night, from women browsing late at night. If you post it during the day, others are probably posting alongside with you which can mean your brand new post at 1pm can be topped by several other posts by 2pm. You want your ad to be seen so post it when everyone else isn't posting.

Now, what if all this doesn't work? The first thing is don't give up on meeting women online.

Then, simply, you rewrite your Craigslist ad and repost it. Sometimes when you go fishing and throw the fishing rod into the water, you might not get a bite the first time around. But as you continue to practice how you throw the rod into the water (your ad), you're going to be more adept at writing an ad that will attract the attention of women.

Continue to post, edit, repost until you get results with meeting women on Craigslist. In this instance, persistance really does payoff. You will meet women on Craigslist, its just a matter of when and how much work you want to put into it. The more work, the better the woman you'll meet online.

PS: Don't ask for a picture just yet. She might ask you for one right away and what you want to do is sell her on personality and not your looks. Unless you are of course Brad Pitt.